5 Steps to Manifesting the Love of Your Life

Learn how to manifest the love you deserve with a powerful 5-step process to heal, gain clarity, and attract your dream relationship.

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Last January, I sat down with my journal and wrote a six-page Life Plan Story. In it, I detailed the “must-have” qualities, characteristics, and values of the man I wanted to manifest into my life. I poured my heart into describing not just who he was but how our love would feel—the kind of connection I dreamed of experiencing, how he’d treat me, what our dynamic together would be like and so on.

Fast forward five months, to our first date… we’ve been together ever since. I tell him all the time, “I wrote you into existence!” because he is truly everything I asked for and more.

This experience reaffirmed one of the foundational truths I teach: when you get crystal clear about what you want and refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve, the universe will deliver.

But here's the catch—the universe delivers only when you’re ready to receive it. Before we met, I spent years doing the personal work to heal and grow, preparing myself to show up fully for the kind of love I dreamed of manifesting. He did the same work on himself before we met, and that’s why it works.

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So, if you’re ready to manifest your dream relationship, here is my proven 5-step process. I’ve been teaching this process to clients for nearly a decade, and it’s helped them manifest soulmates, partners, marriages, and even families. If it worked for us, it can work for you too!

I have a philosophy that applies to just about everything in life you’d like to manifest or achieve. I call it “Get ready to be ready.” Here’s how you can start getting ready, starting TODAY, to attract the love you desire and deserve.

Manifesting love isn’t about searching for your soulmate or chasing after love; it’s about preparing yourself to receive the kind of love and relationship you truly desire. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “become the love you seek to attract.” That’s exactly what we are talking about. You can’t manifest your ideal partner until you’ve done the work to become an ideal partner.

This starts with being honest with yourself and identifying areas you need to work on—now, while you’re single. Reflect on feedback from past relationships, as there’s often valuable insight in how others have perceived you. This doesn’t mean accepting all criticism as truth, but it’s important to approach it with an open mind and ask yourself tough questions.

For example:

• Could there be truth in what they said about me?

• Am I too impatient?

• Do I become mean or dismissive when communicating?

• Do I focus on faults instead of appreciating and building up my partner?

Step 1: Heal Yourself, Know Yourself

The first and most critical step is doing the inner work. If you’re holding onto unresolved pain or stuck in negative relationship patterns, you’re not yet ready to attract healthy, lasting love.

Get your journal and answer these key questions:

What went wrong in past relationships? What was my part in their demise?

• What patterns need to change?

• What signal have I been sending that attracts the wrong kind of partner?

• What are my emotional needs, triggers, and boundaries?

• What type of love do I need and want? What are some ways I like to have love expressed or shown to me?

• What type of partner have I been in the past? How am I going to evolve to become a better one in the future?

• What’s my love language, how do I feel when my partner speaks it and how do I feel when they don’t?

• What’s my attachment style and how can I work on healing it? (See the books listed below)

• How can I improve my communication to foster understanding and connection?

• Do I know how to create a “safe space” for vulnerability?

• Have I listened to my intuition in the past or ignored red flags? What will I do differently this time?

• What do I need to change about myself? Do I love myself? Do I respect myself? Do I show up for myself?

• What dating behaviors have I exhibited in the past, that I can change so I can get a different result?

This level of self-awareness is the foundation of a strong relationship and is critical to creating a healthy and healed you. When you take the time to know yourself, heal, and grow, you create the space to attract a partner who has done the same.

Suggested books that helped me get ready for love:

• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman -Listen to my podcast episode about love languages.

• Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

• Secure Love by Julie Gottman (follow Julie @thesecurerelationship). This book was an absolute game changer for me! See my full list of favorite personal growth books.

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Step 2: Write Down What You Want

Clarity is the key to getting what you want. My 6-page journal entry in January 2024 led to manifesting my boo just five months later! Here are some of the questions I asked myself while writing about my dream relationship. They helped me truly see and feel what it would be like to be in a loving, happy, and healed relationship.

Note: Don’t write down physical traits. Listen, if you’ve been going after “your type” all these years and it hasn’t worked, it doesn’t take a genius to recognize that maybe “your type” isn’t the right kind of partner for you. This time around, focus on what actually matters—qualities that lead to healthy and fulfilling relationships—not the surface stuff that’s gotten you into bad or toxic relationships in the past.

I absolutely had a type that I’d casually dated for years before meeting my love. Every one of those relationships were HORRIBLE for me, and those guys were the worst possible match! So, when I wrote out my list, I knew that the love I wanted would likely come in a package I wouldn’t normally “go for.” That’s why I wrote the first sentence in the photo below—I wanted to recognize him by who he really was as a man, not by that instant chemical attraction I’d always relied on in the past.

Dive into the emotional depth of your connection and who the person is on a deeper level. For example, instead of writing, “I want someone funny,” say, “I want someone who can make me laugh when I need it most and who sees humor as a way to connect.”

Grab your journal and write down a detailed description of the person you want to attract. Write in full sentences, this helps you see and feel what it would be like to have that person in your life.

• Describe your ideal mate as a person: what are their values, personality, and qualities?

• What makes you feel loved, appreciated and seen?

• How do you want to feel and be treated in the relationship?

• How they will show up for you and how you will show up for them?

• How will you be as a couple? What will that dynamic be like?

• What’s most important to you in a partner?

• What are your top 10 “must have’s” -note: these should not be surface level

Step 3: Visualize and Daydream

Visualization is a powerful tool for manifesting love. Spend time imagining your dream relationship. Close your eyes and really try to see your future life, one where you are happy, adored, heard, seen, appreciated and having fun!

• How is your partner expressing love through their actions? Write out a specific senecio.

• How do they make you feel safe, secure, seen, and appreciated? Write specific things you imagine them doing to make you feel this way.

• What does it feel like to laugh, have fun, enjoy each others company? Write specific ways you enjoy life together.

• What does it feel like to have someone you can grow and experience life with? Write down the ways you want to grow together, and things you’d like to do together.

• What does your daily life look like?

• How do you interact with each other? With your friends and family?

• How do you lift each other up and express yourselves?

• How do you treat them that is different than how you’ve treated past partners?

• How do you make each other better, stronger and more motivated to be your best?

• How have you learned to speak their love language and give them what they need?

• How do you resolve conflict that’s different than anything you’ve experienced in the past?

By focusing your energy on the feeling of being in your dream relationship, you align yourself with its frequency.

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Step 4: Make a Love #FutureBoard

Take your vision to the next level by creating a #futureboard for love. Pinterest is an incredible resource for this. Search for images that represent the qualities you want in a relationship, the type of connection you desire, and the experiences you want to share.

Your board should reflect the emotional depth and partnership you’re manifesting, not just the aesthetics of a relationship. This step makes your vision tangible and keeps it at the forefront of your mind.

Check out my Pinterest love board for inspiration!

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Step 5: Change Your Mindset

The final step is aligning your thoughts and words with the relationship you’re manifesting. Your mindset sets the tone for what you attract, so practice affirmations that reinforce your readiness and worthiness for love.

My Favorite Love Affirmations:

• I am loved and deserving of love.

• I am open and ready to receive love.

• I am working on me so I’ll be ready when my love shows up.

• Somewhere out there, my love is preparing for me just as I am preparing for them.

• I will know my love by how safe, secure, and cherished I feel.

Repeat these affirmations daily, and use them to replace any negative or limiting beliefs about love.

Read the chapters of my book Think It which teach you how to change your mindset.

BONUS TIP:

Healthy love feels different from toxic love. It’s a slow burn, not the instant chemical reaction we were falsely taught to believe is love. When you focus on attracting a healthy, healed, and connected love, be prepared for it to look a little different from what you’re used to. It’s a slow burn, not an instant bonfire.

Though we’ve been together since our first date, we built our relationship on friendship first, taking the time to let our feelings grow organically. We invested in truly getting to know each other and trusted that our feelings would deepen with each interaction—and they have. So, when you meet someone who embodies the qualities you are looking for, but maybe doesn’t have that instant spark, give it time to build a slow burn. Don’t make a decision too early on because feelings can grow and deepen with time invested.

I heard this great quote once and it couldn’t be more true…

“We are always seeking fireworks when what we should be looking for is a fireplace.”

Work on healing, self-discovery, and growth. As you do, you’ll naturally attract someone who mirrors the love, energy, and values you’ve cultivated within yourself.

When I met my partner, I realized the universe had been waiting for me to be ready. So, work on YOU. Heal YOU. When you’re genuinely ready, love will manifest in ways that will feel nothing short of magical.

Your dream relationship isn’t just possible—it’s waiting for you. Are you ready to claim it?

Note: If you are SERIOUS about manifesting your soulmate and want my help, I take a limited number or private clients, you can learn more and book a consultation here.

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Listen to my podcast How to Manifest the Love of Your Life and subscribe to The Sarah Centrella Show on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Audible or anywhere you get your podcast, watch this interview on YouTube

About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a multi #1 best-selling author, master life coach, executive coach, speaker and the Founder of VIVIAMO.

Want to work with me? Schedule a 15-min consultation to see how my coaching can help you create and live your dream life!

This work is copyright protected 2025 Centrella Global LLC