How to Believe in Yourself When You've "Failed" in the Past
Why failure isn’t failure at all—and how to turn your setbacks into fuel for your next success
There is no such thing as failure.
And that’s coming from someone who’s “failed” more times than I can count. I’ve had everything and lost it all multiple times. I’ve started businesses that I’ve had to close. I’ve bought a house and lost it in foreclosure. I’ve released a book that no one ever saw or read. I’ve been fired from a job. I’ve spent years in multiple colleges but never graduated. So… yeah, a lot of people would call that failure.
But I don’t. Because every single one of those things taught me valuable lessons that helped me to be more successful in the long run or at the next thing I tried. Those setbacks aren't fun, that’s true. I never loved going through them, but they happened for a reason and they molded me into the odd little anomaly that I am today. Those “failures” also lit massive fires under my motivation which has fueled my success.
Because though I’ve had a book “fail,” I’ve also gotten four book deals when no one but me believed I could get one! Losing the house helped me shift my priorities to what kind of life I wanted to live and what type of childhood I wanted to provide for my children. So instead of buying another one, I took my kids to seven countries throughout their upbringing. Being fired from that job is what gave me the push to start my coaching business, which—though not easy—has been the best decision of my life. Closing businesses helped me get clear on what I wanted to focus on and who my ideal client is.
I want you to start rebranding “failure” as “learning.” Because that is what it truly is. It’s your classroom, it’s your hands-on training center, it’s the education you MUST HAVE in order to get to where you ultimately want to go. It’s necessary. It’s needed. It’s the price of success.
If you’ve never failed at anything, have you really lived?
Life is about learning, adapting, pivoting, adjusting, and honing. It’s not about getting on a straight freeway to success. No road on the planet is straight forever. Ever been on a road trip that never had a curve, a hill, an accident along the way, or a lane closed? No. Life is like that—it’s supposed to be composed of all the things.
So, get out your journal and see for yourself by answering these questions…
What have I learned from my past “failures?”
What will I never do again?
How can I avoid making those same mistakes?
What did I learn that I want to take with me and get better at next time?
Why did that “failure” happen?
What were the exact decisions I made that contributed to this?
Why did I make them?
What would I do differently next time?
Note: If you think that your past failures were created by external factors or were the fault of other people, circumstances, or anything else—think again.
You were part of that outcome—so ask yourself, what role did you play? You’ve got to get real here. Don’t go soft on yourself, because that does you a disservice. Denial is not your friend when you’re doing a postmortem on a “failure.” If you’re not brutally honest with yourself, you’ll end up repeating the exact same mistakes and land right back where you started. You have to learn the lesson, or it will keep showing up. And if that failure was painful, use it. Let it fuel you. Be determined to change what’s in your control so you can adjust, grow, and use that knowledge to succeed faster next time.
Lastly, this question comes down to fear and self-doubt. To remove both, use your Power Mottos, I AM Statements, and Daydreaming tools to identify what success will look like next time—and build the confidence through your tools to get back out there and try again.
*You can pre-order Think It in July ‘25!
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Think It: Chapter 1 -From Rockbottom to Breakthrough
I’ll never forget the first time I heard, “You can change your thoughts.” It was from Louise Hay on The Oprah Winfrey Show. This must have been 2006 or ’07, and I remember thinking, “What is she talking about? How is that even possible?”
About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a multi #1 best-selling author, master life coach, executive coach, speaker and the Founder of VIVIAMO.
This work is copyright protected 2025 Centrella Global LLC
This is such a valuable post Sarah. I especially love your journalling questions - I’m a bit of a journal nerd 🤓