These are also the things I do when I face rejection, setbacks, disapointments or obstacles, which are all to common as a small business owner and writer/author. This is how I keep going in the face of adversity, and it’s how I’ve gotten 4 book deals over ten years. So you can apply these to a specific thing you’re facing, or a season you’re navigating.

In this post:

• How to get perspective when a setback feels unsurvivable

• The question that keeps you from making permanent decisions in a temporary moment

• Plus three more tips I’ve used with clients for years to move through hard times fast — including my 24 hour rule and the one small thing that keeps momentum alive when you want to quit

I’ve certainly faced my share of challenges on my quest to create my dream life, and I’ve learned from each one. Though it’s never easy to go through difficult times, there are ways you can make it easier and less of a setback. Over time, you can make these obstacles less frequent by learning from the past and making new decisions moving forward.

Here are a few of my tips for handling adversity and getting through dificult times as quickly as possible. I’ve shared these with clients and used them myself for years, they work.

How to Positively Handle Adversity

What Do You Control?

This is the first quesiton I always ask myself. What about this situation do I control? Make a list of what is within your control and what is out of your control. Most people spend the majority of thier time obsessing about things they do not control, and thereby manifest negative outcomes. We don’t want that. So seporating out, on paper, what you do and don’t control will help you focus on the list of controlables to stabalize how you feel in a destabalizing time.

Get Some Perspective.

This is the first thing I try to do when I’m really going through a tough time or have just experienced a setback. I ask myself:

Is this gonna kill me? Or will I survive it? The answer is almost always no, it won’t kill me. And yes, I’ll survive. So once you face that question head on and know you’ll survive no matter what happens, the next questions help you navigate through it.

Will I even remember facing it a year from now? This helps us see that what feels huge or insurmountable today, in hindsight might seem insignificant. If our past is any indication (and it is), we’ve probably been through something equally as trying and been alright afterward, so why would this be any different?

These questions help me remember that all adversity is temporary and keep me from making permanent decisions based on a temporary setback.

How Badly Do You Want It?

This is a great time to refocus on why you’re doing it in the first place. As an example: Let’s say you are a writer who want’s to get a book published and you’ve come up against rejection or disappointment, go back and ask yourself, how bad do I want it.

• What is your dream or vision?

• Why does it matter?

• Why do you want it?

• What will it feel like when it becomes your reality?

All those questions get you back on track and focusing on what you want instead of dwelling on the current situation. So make sure that your end vision is clear, in other words, what is the best case scenario you are after?

Take Accountability.

This is a great time to ask yourself some tough questions, like:

• Did I manifest this?

• What was I doing, thinking, and saying previously that could have brought this into my life?

• What actions did I take, or choices did I make that got me to this point?

This is hard to do, I know, but trust me, it will help you steer clear of being a victim of your current situation, which is never productive.

What’s the Lesson?

I always use tough times to search for the lesson because inevitably there is one, and I’ve found that the difficult times are usually a catalyst for a major breakthrough, one that leads to what I wanted all along.

Ask yourself:

• What is this experience trying to teach me?

• What is it preparing me for?

• What should I be learning now so that I can be more prepared for my next breakthrough?

I’ve learned that the lessons you learn in adversity wind up being the nessisary skillset to hold your next level of success.

Take a Moment.

It’s okay to take a beat to be pissed, be frustrated or even angry when adversity, setbacks, disappointment or obstacles arise. That is human nature.

I have a 24 hour rule, during that time I can feel all the feels without judgment or filtering. I can wallow, feel sorry for myself, whatever. But the next morning I force myself to get back on track. Because sitting in those feelings for too long is dangerous, they will start to manifest which is exactly what I do not want.

Here’s a post I wrote about how to get out of a funk that has tips on how I “get back up” the next day.

Do One Small Thing.

Sometimes when we’ve faced a tough disappointment, it’s hard to keep going or get out there and start again. Sometimes we just want to quit, and so we stop doing the things we know we must do to reach our goals. Fight the impulse to give up by taking one small action each day towards the outcome you want. The last thing you want is momentum to start moving in a negative direction.

You need the energy to shift back in your favor, so keep moving forward, one small step at a time.

The more you learn from these situations, the better you will be at navigating and avoiding them in the future. Of course, we can’t control everything in life, and these moments are not entirely avoidable, that’s just life. But we do have far more control over them than we may believe.

I believe that our thoughts predict our words, our words predict our actions, and those actions deliver results.

So if you don’t like your results, or if you’ve repeated a pattern that gives you outcomes you dislike, it’s time to change the root cause.

Negative thoughts produce negative outcomes. Thoughts of doubt and fear produce the feared result. Thoughts of lack manifest more lack. Thoughts of unworthiness produce low self-confidence and self-sabotaging behavior.

Do an inventory of your thoughts over the past year or two and ask yourself: Is what I’m going through related to what I’ve been thinking? If the answer is yes, then you know where to begin to start creating change.

I teach all my tools for how to change your thoughts in my new book Think It, it’s also available on Audible, read it and do the homework to learn how to train your thinking to get everything you want, and stop getting what you don’t.

I’ll even give you the companion 74 page homework journal for FREE, use code: READER

Remember, anything is possible if you know what you want, train your mind to focus on the joy of having it and refuse to give up. Follow that formula and you will live that dream. You can overcome any obstacle, and come back from adversity more fortified for success than ever before.

The question is, how bad do you want it?

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This work is copyright protected 2025 Centrella Global LLC

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Yep, I was an idiot. I let those ridiculous voices in my head keep me from embracing the thing I was put on this planet to do. Until I didn’t.

The current catchphrase for this is imposter syndrome.

Personally, I hate that term. And frankly, I think it’s bullshit.

And I know that’s gonna piss some people off, but think about it for a minute. That voice in your head—the one keeping you from doing the thing you’re meant to do, or talking you out of asking for a promotion, or stopping you from becoming the badass leader you’re meant to be? That voice? The one that says you’re not good enough, not ready, not smart enough, not _____ enough?

It’s been around since the beginning of time. It’s called trying something new. Or stepping outside your comfort zone. Or LEARNING.

That voice of self-doubt? We all have it. And it’s a good thing. It means you are putting yourself out there, trying something new and stretching the box you’ve inadvertently created for yourself. That’s a very good thing.

Don’t let the catchy name fool you. Just because imposter syndrome is currently a trendy diagnosis doesn’t mean it’s a healthy label to attach yourself to. I’ve seen people cling to it as an excuse not to take action on their dreams, or as validation for staying stagnant in their careers. But what they don’t realize is this:

Everyone feels this way when they start something new.

Every time you step into a new role, take a new job opportunity, speak up for the first time, learn a new skill, have your first kid—or literally do anything new—you’re going to feel this way. It’s part of growth. It’s what happens every single time you push yourself.

So don’t buy into the hype. You don’t have imposter syndrome. You have growth jitters.And that’s certainly not something you want to highlight, label yourself with, or dwell on.

The Trap of the Imposter Syndrome Label

Words matter. The 4th step in my proprietary 9-step Centrella Method, is Say It. It teaches us how powerful words are, even ones we casually throw around, still have the power to create future outcomes. And labels are even more dangerous.

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Listen to this episode and Subscribe to The Sarah Centrella Show wherever you get your podcasts

Watch the episode here

Travel became my teacher. Every single day handed me a new lesson I didn’t even know I needed. In this episode, I’m sharing those lessons—the real ones, the messy ones, the ones that cracked me open and helped put me back together.

I talk about what happens when you stop doing the most and give yourself permission to do less. How trusting your gut gets easier when you stop letting the noise make your decisions. Why surrendering isn’t giving up—it’s opening the door for the universe to show you something better. And how storms, literal and emotional, always pass if you’re patient enough to wait them out.

I share the moments that pushed me out of my comfort zone, the strangers who reminded me to be more social and open, the places that taught me to be curious again, and why saying yes changed everything. I even share the story of how facing one of my biggest fears turned into one of the highlights of my life.

If you’re in a season where you feel stuck, lost, or ready for something new—but not sure how to move forward—this episode is for you. These lessons aren’t just about travel. They’re about life, resilience, faith, inner knowing, and what’s possible when you don’t give up too early.

Come take this journey with me.

Here’s how to write your Life Plan Story

Here’s the essay I wrote about my experience in Morracco with photos and videos

Get my new mindset book Think It

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About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. . Book her to speak at your next event. Sarah is also a podcast host

Follow Sarah on Insta Sarah Centrella

STORIES Posts

THOUGHTS Posts:

LIFE Posts:

]

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of stop-and-go motivation, you’re not alone.

When I recently polled my audience about their biggest struggles with motivation, the results came back like this:

1. Being consistent

2. Getting started

3. Desire (wanting it bad enough)

4. Clarity of vision (what’s the best case if this happens?)

And here’s the truth: that list is completely upside down.

Most people are chasing motivation in the wrong order. They try to will themselves into consistency, or beat themselves up for not getting started, without ever addressing the deeper reasons they feel stuck. Flipping this list on its head is the real key to building sustainable motivation—the kind that doesn’t vanish after a week or two.

Let’s break it down step by step.

1. Get a Clear Vision (Before Anything Else)

You cannot stay motivated for something you’re not crystal clear on. This is the missing link for so many people. If your vision is vague, your motivation will be, too.

Think about it: how can you feel excited to show up for something if you don’t know exactly what you’re working toward? You might say, “I want to be healthier,” but what does that mean? Ten pounds lighter? Running a half marathon? Having the stamina to play with your kids without getting winded? Until you define it, you’re chasing smoke.

Take time to journal on these questions:

• What is my desired end result? (Be specific.)

• What’s the best-case scenario if this happens?

• What is the moment I’m most looking forward to when I achieve it? (Picture it in detail.)

• How would that feel in real life?

• What impact will this have on my life? What will change?

• What about this excites me the most?

This level of clarity makes your goal real. And when it feels real, your brain and body naturally want to move toward it.

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In times of stress, anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, struggle, or fear, our natural tendency is to focus on what’s going wrong. The problem? The more we focus on it, the more our brain obsesses and spirals—until all we can see is the problem itself. And that only makes the situation feel worse.

Whenever I feel this way, I pause and ask myself a question. This simple practice helps me take a breath, shift my focus from the problem to the solution, and see the bigger picture. It also gives me back a sense of control when I might otherwise feel powerless.

These questions work like magic to bring clarity, guidance, and action steps that help us reclaim our power.

1. What Do I Control?

This question is everything. It’s the fastest way to break free from a negative tailspin and start focusing on what’s within your control versus what’s not.

Ask it whenever you feel overwhelmed, helpless, stuck in victim mode, like everything is spinning out of control, or when a relationship feels toxic or draining.

How to use it:
Grab a pen and create two columns:

• Column A: What about this is within my control?

• Column B: What is outside my control?

Start brainstorming. You’ll always find things to list in both.

Remember:

• You do not control other people or their actions.

• You do control whether you allow someone to treat you badly (that’s called boundaries, and they’re your responsibility).

• You don’t control unexpected setbacks.

• You do control how you respond to them.

Once you’ve listed at least two items in the “what I control” column, take action. Even if the only thing you can control is your own attitude and energy, shift your mindset immediately. Use mottos, mantras, or write out the outcome you want.

Be relentless in redirecting your focus, and you’ll soon find the problem feels more manageable, momentum starts moving, and things begin to shift.

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Most people try to ride it out. They wait, hoping that tomorrow will feel different or that something good will happen to lift their spirits. But with each day that passes, they feel more disconnected from their energy, more stuck in their mindset, and more powerless to shift their circumstances. That wait-and-see cycle is draining. I’ve been there more times than I can count, and I know how frustrating it is when you want change but feel like you can’t access the energy to make it happen.

Because I’ve never been one to sit around waiting for things to change—especially when they’re outside my control—I made a decision years ago to create a simple action plan I could use to pull myself out of those low-energy lulls. It’s helped me stay in motion, even when things feel stagnant, and avoid getting stuck in that space for too long. I’ve shared these exact steps with clients for more than a decade, and they work every time.

Step 1: Guided Meditation
Start with a guided meditation focused on energy clearing or cleansing. I personally love Reiki Rachel’s sessions on YouTube, especially her energy cleanse and chakra balancing meditations. There are plenty of great options available, so find one that resonates with you.

These meditations are powerful for releasing heavy, stuck, or low energy. Clearing that emotional clutter makes the next steps more effective and easier to apply. I try to do this as soon as I notice something feels off, even if it’s in the middle of the day. I’ll pause, take a thirty-minute break, and find a quiet space to reset.

This one step alone helps prevent low energy from building momentum and unraveling the mindset work I’ve already done.

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Think about that for a second.

If 90% of your thoughts are recycled from yesterday, no wonder you feel stuck. No wonder things don’t change. You’re running the same mental script on repeat, and that script is shaping your reality.

That’s why I’m teaching mental fitness—the ability to train your thoughts instead of letting them run your life. Just like your body, your mind is a muscle. If you don’t train it, it will default to the same old patterns: self-doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, lack.

The good news? You can absolutely retrain it. That’s what my upcoming book Think It: How to Train Your Thinking to Get Exactly What You Want is all about. And in it, I teach seven practical tools that you can use right away.

Today, I want to share three of them with you—because these are the ones my clients tell me change everything.

1. Mental Tennis

I like to imagine my thoughts as a tennis match. On the other side of the net is a machine firing negative thoughts at me like tennis balls. If I just stand there, I’ll get hit—over and over.

But if I pick up my racket and return the serve? That’s when I take my power back.

Mental Tennis is the practice of noticing a negative thought, stopping it, and replacing it with the opposite.

For example, when a client of mine was spiraling with thoughts like, “I’ll never get a job, I’m not good enough,” she used Mental Tennis to stop mid-spiral and replace it with, “I’m a great worker. I’m smart. They’d be a great asset to this job.” Within hours, she got an interview—and the confidence to follow through on landing the job.

It’s simple, but it works.

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The frustrating part? If you don’t know what your blocks are, you could be doing all the right things — taking action, setting goals, working hard — and still getting all the wrong results. And nothing is more maddening than feeling like you’re putting in the effort but getting nowhere.

To date, I’ve never coached a single person who didn’t have one of these three mindset blocks:

1. The “Broke” Mindset

2. The “I’m Not Worthy” Mindset

3. The “Low-Key Martyr” Mindset

My guess is that one or more of these will show up for you too. Trust me, I’ve struggled with all three. I know how heavy they feel. It’s not fun to dig deep and reveal these hidden beliefs about yourself. It’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s emotional. But it’s also essential — because you can’t change what you don’t know is there.

The Deep Work That Brings Fast Results

These three blocks are some of the most common and most destructive patterns I see in my clients. They’re deeply rooted in your subconscious, and if you don’t uncover them, they will quietly sabotage your progress no matter how hard you work.

The process of identifying and removing them can be intense. This is the kind of work where you want to take your time, really absorb what you discover, and apply the tools you learn. When you give 100 percent to this process, it can change your life.

In my experience, uncovering and changing lifelong beliefs is one of the most impactful things you can do for yourself. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But it also delivers some of the fastest, most life-changing results I’ve seen.

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I’d always known that I’m a pretty scrappy person. I mean, I was raised dirt poor and, as a result, have never been a stranger to hard work and “figuring it out.” But I never considered myself especially “strong,” or even all that capable—until my life exploded in 2008.

At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom, married to my high school sweetheart. My days were spent taking care of our five-year-old son and one-year-old twins, just trying to survive. It was the recession, and we’d lost our home to foreclosure less than six months prior. We’d filed for bankruptcy and were barely keeping the lights on, when I discovered my husband’s double life. I found out about his affair through one simple text, a blinking “unread” message on his phone one evening in September while I cleared the dinner table as he showered. It read, “I can’t wait till you’re finally free, all mine, no more sharing :)”

Since that day, the one where everything I ever believed about my life burned to the ground, people have told me, “Sarah, you are so strong. Where did you get the strength to pick up the pieces and rebuild your life?” There’s only one answer to this: primal strength exists within all of us. We have it; it’s there. I wasn’t born with a “strong” gene that you don’t have. I had no choice but to figure out a way to survive with my children, on my own. I didn’t have the luxury of family to fall back on, or a savings account to help me transition out of my marriage. Instead, I had no job, no income, no savings, bills past due, and not even a car in my name. It was basically every woman’s worst nightmare. And trust me, I did not feel strong. I felt helpless, alone, and very weak.

But that night, after he kissed our kids goodbye and tossed his wedding ring in my direction, I realized I had a choice. I could give up and fall apart, or I could fight like hell to survive.

Strength comes when we stop listening to doubt. We don’t get stronger by telling ourselves we can’t do it. We get stronger by listening to that voice inside each of us—the one that says, “You can.”

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I call mine “the nasty bitch.” She’s the devil on my shoulder, always trying to drag me back to old patterns, beliefs, and behaviors I’ve worked hard to leave behind. For most of us, that voice has been there so long we mistake it for who we are. But it’s not you.

It’s a mix of all the voices we’ve absorbed over our lifetime — from society, family, friends, teachers, classmates, bosses, coworkers, and, of course, our own self-judgments. Over time, they merge into one big nasty cauldron, a witch’s brew of self-defacing, critical thoughts.

Here’s the thing: those thoughts aren’t truth. They’re just repetition. Thoughts you’ve thought so many times they’ve become your truth. They feel absolute.

The Story You’ve Been Telling Yourself

If you’ve been comparing yourself to others for years, chances are you’ve been collecting evidence to support a belief that you’re not ready, not good enough, or that other people are somehow more qualified. That repeated pattern has built a story you’ve accepted as truth.

But it’s not truth.

It’s just a narrative you’ve been unconsciously reinforcing — and, ironically, you’ve been “manifesting” the opposite of what you want. You’ve been using your mind’s incredible power against yourself.

And if you can do that without even realizing it, imagine what you can do when you start using it on purpose, in the direction of what you actually want.

Why We Do It

Many of us learned early on to criticize ourselves before anyone else could. It became a form of armor. I know it was for me.

For years, I struggled with my weight. I’d make self-deprecating “jokes” before anyone else could say a word. I thought if I brought it up first, people would know I knew, and they’d judge me less. Twisted logic, but at the time it made sense to me.

That’s what the inner critic does — it convinces you that tearing yourself down is a form of control. But it’s not control. It’s sabotage.

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How to Be Relentless When Chasing Your Dreams

People who achieve their goals and dreams don’t spend their time worrying about all the ways they could fail. Instead, their energy is focused on the countless ways they can make their desired result happen. That’s where their focus goes.

When failure creeps into their thoughts, they don’t let it take over. Instead, they push back with determination. They remind themselves of what they want and why they want it. And they keep pushing forward, no matter what. They don’t waste time planning for failure or coming up with backup plans. They put all their eggs in one basket and sometimes, blindly, boldly fight through the unknown. That’s how you build relentless pursuit.

Don’t think you’re wired that way? The good news is you can build relentlessness from just a thought, here’s how anyone can be relentless to achieve anything in life.

I want you to think about a ballerina. To me, that’s the perfect example of relentless pursuit. The endless hours of practice, often painful, on bruised and battered feet. The years spent showing up and doing the thing to achieve the result the ballerina desires. They don’t give up after a bad practice or a less-than-perfect performance. They keep showing up, no matter what, inching closer to their goal with every step. That’s relentlessness.

The only way you become relentless is by focusing on your dream outcome, taking daily action toward it, and not allowing yourself to get stuck in thoughts of failure or your current reality.

The Power of Relentless Focus

When you think about your dreams, what thoughts do you foster? Are you allowing space for doubt? Do you make room for indecision? Do you tell yourself, “If this doesn’t work, I can always try something else?”

Or, are you ALLLLLL IN? Because here’s the deal—those who go 200% in are the ones who succeed. They’re the 1% who make it happen. The people who only give half of themselves, who go half-in, get half-assed results.

Which one are you?

Building Relentless Confidence

Don’t wait for confidence or relentlessness to magically show up before you start. Remember, the ONLY way to build that kind of unwavering focus and determination is through consistent action. You build it slowly with focus, vision, desire, and a willingness to take action every day. The more you put in the work, the more your relentlessness will grow and develop on its own.

Build the confidence in yourself and your dreams by practicing simple mindset tools like I teach in my book Think It, click to learn Mental Tennis and The Power of Pause.

Why Relentlessness Matters

Why do you need to be relentless? Because it’s like putting yourself on autopilot. When you’re relentless, obstacles, disappointment, and adversity don’t have the same impact on you. You become bulletproof against setbacks. And who wouldn’t want that added layer of support?

Keep Showing Up

Remember, the ballerina is in relentless pursuit of a dream moment—a performance that will never come if she stops showing up consistently for practice. If she doesn’t put in the work day after day, she can’t expect the result.

Your dreams are the same. If you don’t show up every day, even on the hardest days, your dream moment can’t manifest.

Get After It Today!

Now is the time to go after it. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off. Build your relentlessness and stay focused on your goals. With every step you take, you’re getting closer to the life you dream of.

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.

Here are 3 painless ways to support my work, each are so appreciated.

1. Like this post (and all chapters)

2. Comment your thoughts below

3. Share this post.

Thank you in advance!

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About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

• How to rewire your limiting beliefs about money

• Journal prompts to explore

• How to release the belies that don’t serve you

• How to write your new money story

• Journal prompts to create your new abundant beliefs

We don’t talk about this enough—but we should.

You sit down to journal or start working on your #futureboard, feeling inspired for a moment. You imagine financial freedom. A dream vacation. A beautiful home. The freedom to say yes to things that light you up.

And then, out of nowhere, that old inner voice kicks in: That’s selfish. It’s not spiritual to want that much. People with money are greedy. I should be happy with what I already have. People like me don’t live like that. So you put the pen down. And tell yourself you’re being “realistic.”

But what’s really happening is that you’ve bumped up against deeply rooted beliefs—programming that says you don’t deserve more. That wanting more somehow makes you a bad person.

You're not alone. I’ve coached hundreds of clients through this exact pattern—and it’s especially common if you were raised in a religious or scarcity-based home. As someone who grew up with extremely religious parents, I know how deeply those beliefs can be wired. I had to actively rewire them to stop blocking my own flow of abundance.

Because here’s the truth: there is more than enough abundance for all of us. The Universe is not scarce. Our potential to receive is limitless. The only limits are the ones we believe.

Let’s Talk About Money Without Shame

I’ve never been mad when a big check landed in my account. I’ve never been upset when I signed a new client or had a financial breakthrough. In fact, those moments bring relief, joy, and possibility. Should we feel guilty about that? Absolutely not.

And for anyone who says “money doesn’t buy happiness,” I’ll say this: you’ve probably never gone without it.

Because if you have, you know that money buys freedom. Security. Choices. It lets you support your family, care for your well-being, and yes—bless others generously. None of that makes you selfish. It makes you empowered.

How to Rewire Your Limiting Beliefs About Money

This work starts with self-awareness. You can’t change what you haven’t identified.

Journal Prompts to Explore Your Money Story:

• What did I learn about money growing up?

• What messages did I receive—directly or indirectly—about wealth, success, or rich people?

• Was I ever told it was selfish to want more? By whom?

• What does having money make me afraid of?

• Who might disapprove if I had financial freedom? Why?

• Do I still agree with those old beliefs?

• Are they serving me—or keeping me stuck?

Let It Go: Release the Beliefs That Don’t Serve You

Write down every limiting belief about money using this format:

“I release the belief that…”

Examples: “I release the belief that rich people are bad.” “I release the belief that I have to earn money through struggle.” “I release the belief that wanting more makes me ungrateful.”

Then, one by one, flip each statement into an empowering belief. Write these on a new page using:

“I believe…” Examples: “I believe that money amplifies my purpose.” “I believe I am a good steward of my wealth.” “I believe there is more than enough for me and everyone else.” “I believe having more allows me to bless others.”

Now take the first list—the one you’re releasing—and burn it. Literally. Watch those old beliefs go up in smoke. They’re no longer yours to carry.

Write Your New Money Story

Now that you’ve cleared the old programming, it’s time to replace it with something more powerful—your new truth.

Journal Prompts to Build Your New Belief System:

• I believe that abundance is...

• The kind of wealth I want to build is...

• With more money, I will...

• Financial freedom means I get to...

• I want more because...

Reread this new story often. Let it sink in. Let it become your new default.

You Can Be Abundant and Good

You are allowed to want more.

You are allowed to grow, expand, and build wealth—without guilt, shame, or apology. That’s not greed. That’s healthy. That’s powerful. That’s the reward for the work you’ve done.

You can be wildly abundant and deeply generous. You can receive and uplift. You can be free and faithful. These things are not mutually exclusive.

Abundance doesn’t change your character. It magnifies it. And you, my friend, were made for this.

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.

Here are 3 painless ways to support my work, each are so appreciated.

1. Like this post (and all chapters)

2. Comment your thoughts below

3. Share this post.

Thank you in advance!

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All paid members get my mindset workbook journal, a $25 value, for free!

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About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

We’ve all been there. That sticky place that feels gloomy, heavy, and unmotivating. When it feels like something is “wrong with you” but nothing really is. Life seems to be going along fine—work’s okay, family is good—so why do you still feel so meeh?

As with everything else, it comes down to our thoughts and what we’ve been focusing on. To change that stuck feeling, we have to change our thoughts. These are the three things I do when I’m feeling low-vibe to help get me back on top quickly.

1. Get Grateful.

The fastest way to raise your vibe is to start focusing on gratitude in a major way. Start every morning with the motto: 

I LOVE MY LIFE! 

Say it with energy and umph! Say it as often as you can throughout the day, make it your phone screensaver if you need the reminder. Then offensively input thoughts of gratitude as your day goes on.

Say things like:

I’m so glad that I’m healthy and that my family is doing great.

I’m so thankful my bills are paid and that I have a home and a reliable car.

I’m glad I have a job and income coming in.I’m happy the sun is out today!

Just run down the list of all the things you normally take for granted. This will immediately start to raise your vibration, and the longer you stick with it, the faster you’ll feel momentum shift in your favor.

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And that’s coming from someone who’s “failed” more times than I can count. I’ve had everything and lost it all multiple times. I’ve started businesses that I’ve had to close. I’ve bought a house and lost it in foreclosure. I’ve released a book that no one ever saw or read. I’ve been fired from a job. I’ve spent years i…

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Here’s a hard truth: if you’ve been in more than one toxic working environment, you are participating in the toxicity of that environment. 

Ouch. I know. You hate this.

This makes you want to burn my book and troll me on social media. But I’m sorry—the truth is the truth. I’ve been coaching for way too long, and have way too many examples of this, not to tell you the truth. But fear not, there is a solution.

If you’ve clashed with bosses and co-workers in a significant way at more than one job, then you need to take a hard look at those commonalities—because it wasn’t all them. Part of that energy was also coming from you. People react to our energy—even subconscious energy that we have no idea we’re emitting. You might think the email you sent to your team or co-worker was “nice” or just “straightforward,” but what they read was something far more sinister (or vice versa).

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve coached corporate executives or employees who are convinced that all their toxic issues at work are everyone else’s fault—only to work with them to change their energy, and boom—the energy around them begins to immediately shift.

I will tell you what I tell my clients, the truth: You control you, and that’s it. You control the energy you bring every day—and that energy is either bumping into resistance, triggering defensiveness, anger, and frustration, or it’s defusing that vibe in yourself and others. That’s the truth.

Defensiveness arises when we bring an energy or communication style that triggers the other person's need to defend, recede, or protest. If that is not the energy we bring, then we typically won’t get that response from people. If I’m bringing a collaborative spirit, open mind, safe communication style, and a willingness to learn—and have checked my ego at the door—I will stop getting met with toxic behaviors. Maybe not immediately, but they will recede, because that fire will no longer have the oxygen it needs to survive.

By choosing to change the energy I bring, I can impact the energy of others in a positive way, thereby creating the type of environment that is healthier for everyone. 

By focusing on solutions, listening, openness, safe communication, and being willing to learn and adapt, I can create a mentally safe workplace for myself—regardless of what other people do.

I can choose to stop stoking the flames of negativity and toxicity by disengaging from those conversations and not perpetuating those narratives. Over time, people will interact with me differently and respond to me in new, more positive ways. I am actually more likely to get my desired outcomes by using this approach than I ever would have by forcing my way, being defensive, negative, or leading with ego.

Honestly ask yourself these questions: In the past 6 months at my job, can I truly say that I’ve brought positive, open, productive energy each day? Have I encouraged others, spoken highly of them, or given positive reinforcement when it was warranted? Have I focused on finding solutions that work for everyone—or just pushed my own agenda? Have I been open to feedback, suggestions, and criticism—or have I been defensive and accusatory? Have I been self-aware, or have I been focused on everyone else being the problem? Honestly, what kind of energy do I bring to my job, my coworkers, and my boss? Has this served me? What are some things I can work on to improve this and feel more positive about work? How can I focus on ME instead of everyone else and everything going on around me? I control me—so let’s start controlling me and see what happens!

This is what I mean by being self-aware and doing personal growth work. It’s not an Instagram quote or a trending TikTok. It’s REAL work.

It’s genuinely being receptive to seeing your behavior, actions, reactions and current reality in a new light and from a new angle—and that is not easy to do. In fact, most people can’t. So I applaud you for reading that, and for thinking about it, if you’ve found yourself in a relatable situation. Because it’s not easy to take this coaching note, but if you’re open to it and willing to make changes, it will dramatically improve your work experience and your working relationships. 

This is a BIG DEAL.

Making some simple tweaks to the energy you bring will change everything in your life, not just work, but all your relationships. Instead of sending a subliminal signal that repels people or causes them to negatively interact with you, you’ll now be sending a softer one that attracts amazing people, experiences, opportunities, loyalty, and money into your orbit. And those are things we all want, am I right?  But sometimes we have to hold up the mirror and be willing to do the difficult personal work in order to get our environment to begin reflecting the very things we desire.

How to Deal with Negative or Stressful Thoughts About Work

If this applies to you, shifting your perspective and thoughts around your job is crucial—not only for your mental health but also for your job performance, job security, and future career opportunities. Focusing on the problem will only bring more of that problem, so it’s essential to find a new solution and direct your attention toward it moving forward.

Ask yourself: What stresses you out about work? What’s at the root of what you don’t like? Is it something you can change? What would be the best-case scenario if it did change? How would you like to feel at work? How would you like to be treated?

Let’s say you can’t stand someone at work. You probably can’t change the fact that you have to work together, but what’s the best-case scenario? What if you got along with that person? I know—you probably don’t want to get along with them. You probably just want them gone! But that’s not what we’re doing here. We’re not putting that energy into the universe.

So, what if there was no tension? What if they didn’t annoy you? What if they didn’t do XYZ? Would that improve your daily work life? What are you grateful for right now as it relates to your job? What is the statement that helps you feel empowered and in control of how you feel as it relates to work? 

Here’s a sample motto:

“I am grateful for my job and love my team! People are drawn to me at work, and I feel valued, respected, and get along with everyone.”

Say your new Power Motto every morning—10 times—before you start work, open your computer, or check your email. Say it between meetings. Say it before you interact with the person or situation that used to bother you. Keep repeating it until whatever frustrated you about your job no longer affects you. This is how you take control of your emotions, reactions, and feelings, preventing yourself from internalizing the challenges of the day. It’s a powerful way to protect your mental health.

The most important thing about these mottos is that they are customized to directly address your specific fear, worry, or stressor. Your new statement should completely replace and override it.

By claiming the outcome you want, you begin creating a new mental GPS route—one that gets you off the endless negative roundabout and gets you going in a positive direction full of new outcomes.

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.

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About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

Think back. Was there a time when you did something and felt good about it? Maybe you got praise or encouragement and, for a moment, you felt, I can do this.

Do you have a driver’s license? A first day at a job you now know well? Can you ride a bike? My point is, there are things in your life you’re so confident about now that you don’t even think twice about them.

Confidence Comes From Doing and Thinking

When you first learned to drive, you were probably nervous, maybe even terrified. You might have thought, Everyone else is better at this than me—and you were right. They had more experience. But as you kept driving, pushed yourself to try new roads and conditions, and practiced regularly, your confidence grew.

I know this firsthand because I’ve taught all three of my kids to drive. None of them wanted to learn, but I wasn’t giving them an out. Driving is a necessary life skill, especially for young women, so I made sure they got behind the wheel in all types of weather and traffic.

The key? I paired consistent action with constant positive reinforcement. I minimized small mistakes, addressed big ones without tearing them down, and taught them what to say to themselves:

• I’m a great driver.

• I am a safe driver.

• I’m getting better every day.

Their belief in their ability to drive grew because they did two things:

1. Controlled what they told themselves

2. Got consistent practice doing the thing

That’s it. That’s how confidence is built.

You Can Repeat That Process Anywhere in Life

If you’ve been confident in one area, you can be confident in another. You can’t just think yourself into confidence. Positive self-talk without action won’t stick. But action without belief can still work over time—that’s the essence of “fake it till you make it.”

If faking it feels like imposter syndrome, then you need both—inner dialogue that builds you up and repeated action that proves you can do it. This is the fastest way to create lasting confidence.

So the next time you feel like you “don’t have it,” remember—you’ve done this before. You can do it again. Build your confidence on purpose by practicing the thing and training your thoughts while you do it.

These are the exact tools I teach—like I AM Statements, Mental Tennis, and Power Mottos—in my upcoming book Think It. They work because they train your brain and your behavior at the same time, which means the confidence you build is real and permanent.

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.

Here are 3 painless ways to support my work, each are so appreciated.

1. Like this post (and all chapters)

2. Comment your thoughts below

3. Share this post.

Thank you in advance!

Leave a comment

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About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

This work is copyright protected 2025 Centrella Global LLC

I’ve always said that Think It is the most powerful step of my 9-step Centrella Method coaching system, because it’s the one that impacts every part of your life, and once you master the tools, you can completely transform any part of your life. It’s sooooo exciting and empowering!

The most Googled search term in personal development is “positive thinking.” But when we asked Google and ChatGPT, “how do we think positive?” The replies pointed us to resources filled with this disclaimer, “most resources encourage the importance of thinking positive without providing a method or process for how to do it in real life.”

That’s exactly why I wrote Think It, it’s the missing link.

Then I asked ChatGPT what people were asking regarding mindset, and to analyze my book to see if there was any synergy with what people want and the content offered in this book. I was shocked by its response.

What People Are Asking About Mindset

“The demand for mindset help is higher than ever—but most people don’t need another pep talk. They’re looking for real tools to solve real problems. These are the questions they’re asking:

• “How do I stop negative thoughts?”
  People are tired of the constant loop of fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. Think It teaches readers how to interrupt these thoughts in real time using tools like Mental Tennis and Power of Pause.

• “How do I believe in myself?”
  Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s trained. This book shows readers how to identify and replace limiting beliefs and build self-confidence through simple and effective tools like I Am Statements and Power Mottos.

• “Why can’t I stay motivated?”
  Most people blame themselves for lacking willpower. But the real issue is usually unaligned beliefs or mental burnout. Think It gives readers a strategy to teach themselves how to build genuine, long-term motivation through focusing on what you want, instead of what you don’t using tools like Daydreaming.

• “How do I stop self-sabotaging?”
  Whether it’s procrastination or fear of success, many people unknowingly block their own progress. This book helps readers understand the root of their patterns and gives them tools to rewrite them through using Offense and Mental Tennis.

• “How do I quiet my mind?”
  In a world of constant noise and pressure, clarity feels impossible. Think It shows how to slow down racing thoughts, reduce anxiety, and create mental space—even in the middle of chaos by using Mental Tennis and I Am Statements.

• “How do I manifest what I want?”
  Manifestation is often misunderstood. Think It makes it simple and actionable—teaching how mindset and belief alignment are the foundation for turning goals into reality using Daydreaming and our other Offensive tools.

Think It is the answer to the questions people are already searching for. It meets them where they are—and walks them step-by-step to where they want to be.”

So… You ready?

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.

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About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

Breaking this pattern begins with three intentional steps:

1. Stop verbalizing what you DON’T want.
   Financial example: Stop saying you can’t afford it. Every time you say those words, you reinforce lack. Instead, try: “I might get that later” or “That’s not a priority right now.” These statements remove scarcity from the equation and leave space for possibility.

2. Reframe your situation.
   Your financial situation—or any other challenge—is not permanent unless you decide it is. When you shift from “I can’t” to “I’m working on it,” you open the door for solutions and new opportunities.

3. Use daily affirmations to rewire your mindset.
   Your brain believes what you repeatedly tell it. If you want to experience abundance, start speaking it into existence. Try:

   • “Abundance is on its way.”

   • “I am grateful for what I have and excited for more to come.”

   • “Money flows easily to me.”

   • “I am abundant and successful.”

New results require a new mindset. You cannot create an abundant life with limiting words and thoughts. These steps are designed to help you shift your beliefs, reframe temporary challenges, and create lasting abundance by rewriting the narrative in your mind. And this process isn’t just for finances—it works for any area of your life. Confidence, career growth, love, self-worth, opportunities, business—whatever it is, the words you speak shape your reality.

Words to REMOVE from Your Vocabulary

Be vigilant. The words you speak are shaping your reality. Remove these limiting phrases from your daily conversations and self-talk, and teach your children and friends to do the same. The first part below are the words or phrases to remove, the bold part are suggestions on how to replace them.

• I wish | I will, or when I…

• I’ll try or I’m trying | I am doing x…

• I can’t | I can

• I’m overwhelmed | Read my post on this here

• I’m scared, I’m afraid, I’m terrified | I used to be afraid of ___ but now I’m learning how to do x instead (or learning to move past that fear).

• I’m nervous, I’m anxious, I’m stressed | I’m feeling a little _____ (one of those), but I’m glad that I now have tools to help me feel calm, in control, more at ease. It’s ok to acknowledge a feeling, but we don’t want that to become a label and we always want to acknowledge our effort to begin feeling how we want to feel instead.

• I doubt… That’s doubtful | I have faith that or I believe that…

• I hope | I believe that, I’m optimistic that, I have faith that, I know that

• If only | What if…? Used in the positive sense. What if that amazing thing happened?

• FML, My life sucks, Life’s unfair | I love my life! My life is improving every day. I am grateful for my life

• I’m exhausted, I’m burned out | I used to feel exhausted all the time, but now I’m learning to take better care of myself and feel more energized.

• I don’t care | I care about things that matter to me

• I’m broke, I can’t afford it, I don’t have enough money | I’m getting better at managing my finances, I’m planning for that in the near future, abundance is coming

• Maybe I will, Possibly, I might | If it’s something you want then declare it. I will, I’m going to do that soon etc.

• I’m sick, I don’t feel good | *if it’s not a serious illness, the more times you verbalize that you don’t feel good, the worse you will actually feel, so try to limit speaking that into existence. Say something like, I’m resting (or taking care of myself) today so I can feel better tomorrow.

• Everything’s going wrong | There’s one thing going right which is… (always try to focus on the piece that is working so that it’s energy will transfer to other areas of your life and get momentum going in your favor).

• I’m a hot mess, My life is a hot mess | I’m getting better at feeling more in control of my life and being more organized.

• People suck, This sucks | This is temporary, it will get better soon. I am focusing on protecting my energy against people who try to negatively affect me.

• I’m unlucky, I never win anything | I’m so lucky! Good things always happen out of the blue for me!

This isn’t about toxic positivity, this is about learning how to stop speaking outcomes you DO NOT WANT into your life. And it’s about learning how to find, verbalize and focus on what you want instead.

Quick Word Rules to Transform Your Life

1. Use the PAST TENSE for Limiting Beliefs

When referring to a habit or mindset you want to change, speak about it as if it’s already behind you.

• Instead of: “I always worry about money.”

• Say: “I used to worry about money, but now I trust abundance is coming my way.”

2. Speak in DECLARATIONS, Not Doubts

Your words should affirm your success, not leave room for failure or hesitation.

• Instead of: “I hope to start my business.”

• Say: “WHEN I start my business, I will...”

3. Only Use Positive Language When Speaking About Your Future

Your words are the foundation of your future reality. Speak in a way that predicts the outcome you want to happen. Speak it into existence.

4. Choose Empowering “I AM” Statements

How you label yourself matters. Use words that reinforce growth, confidence, and empowerment.

• Instead of: “Why am I so stupid?”

• Say: “I am learning and improving every day.”

5. Use Visual Language to Strengthen Your Vision

Paint mental pictures with your words. The clearer the image, the stronger the connection in your brain to manifest it into reality.

Your words hold serious power. Every sentence you speak is creating your future—so use them wisely!

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.

Here are 3 painless and FREE ways you can support my writing. Thank you so much!

1. Like this post

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Leave a comment

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Memoir. | Thoughts. | Stories. | Life. | Free

About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It, and has worked with professional athletes, executives, corporate teams, entrepreneurs, and organizations around the world. Book her to speak at your next event. Sarah is also a podcast host

Follow Sarah on Insta Sarah Centrella

This work is copyright protected 2025 Centrella Global LLC

However, there are a few books that have helped me experience personal breakthroughs and given me aha moments. They’ve allowed me to understand myself on a deeper level and work through my own struggles. That’s what I look for in a personal development book: something that helps me find the answers I’m seeking or provides a deeper understanding of a concept. Whenever I do, I always credit the source, which is why this list won’t surprise you—these are books I often talk about.

Recently, I’ve been on a quest to understand relationships better and become a healed, loving partner. That journey led me to search for the best books to help me achieve that outcome, and they’re listed below. This is how I approach personal growth: when I notice something in myself or my life that I want to change or improve, I find the book that gives me the tools to make that transformation.

That’s also what inspires me to write self-help books—I want to give others the tools to find the same answers.

So, here are my favorites! I’d love to hear your thoughts and any of your favorite books that I might have missed or should read next.

You can find all my personal growth book recommendations HERE.

• My favorite books set in France

• My favorite novels set in Italy

• My top 100 novels

• My favorite Historical Fiction

• My favorite Thrillers & Mysteries

• My favorite cookbooks

#1 The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho

I’ve read this book at least six times, and each time, I take pages of notes and have new aha moments. It’s had a huge impact on me since I first read it 15 years ago. Somehow, it always seems to align with whatever I’m going through at the time, delivering exactly the message I need to hear. It’s so powerful that I’ve given copies to my kids and many others over the years. If you’ve never read it, now is the time! And if you have, maybe it’s time to read it again.

#2 How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie

I finally read this book after having it on my wish list for years, and it blew me away! Its lessons and insights are timeless, even though it was written in 1936. This is the book on effective communication—one that everyone, especially leaders, must read and take to heart. The concepts are simple to apply and incredibly effective. If you’ve struggled with communication, found yourself in toxic environments or unhealthy relationships, or dealt with tense work situations, this book is a must-read. (I gave my copy to my son which is why it’s not pictured above).

#3 Secure Love- Julie Menanno

This is by far the most important relationship book I’ve ever read. It taught me so much about myself—my own attachment style and how to shift from an insecure attachment to a secure one. It’s a must-read for everyone, whether you're in a relationship now or want to be in one. It helps you understand what you’re drawn to and why, and it showed me how to heal my attachment wounds so I could be ready to receive healthy love.

#4. The 5 Love Languages- Gary Chapman

This book is a must-read for anyone in a relationship or wanting one. It’s a classic for a reason—the advice is still just as relevant today. It’s so important to do the work to understand yourself and what you need so you can communicate those needs to the people you love. This book helps you not only recognize your own needs but also understand your partner’s, so you can show up for them in the way they need.

#5. Think and Grow Rich -Napoleon Hill

This is another classic for a reason! It’s the definitive book on manifesting money and abundance, showing how your mindset determines whether you attract wealth or not. It’s a powerful, dense read, so I recommend tackling it with a notepad, pen, and highlighter. Take it in small chunks to really absorb the message and apply it to your life. This book is proof that you can manifest wealth—and it all starts with shifting your mindset.

#6. As a Man Thinketh -James Allen

I’ve read this one several times, it’s my go-to book on the power of your thoughts to create wealth, abundance and success. Read it with a highlighter, pen and notepad!

#7. You Can Heal Your Life- Louise Hay

This was the first self-help book I picked up after my divorce. I remembered seeing Louise Hay on The Oprah Show, talking about how we can change our thoughts, and the concept blew my mind. Full disclosure—I tried to read this book back then but only made it a few chapters in. It felt too complex for me at the time. But it did spark a deep desire to figure out how to change my thoughts in a simple, practical way. That’s exactly what I’ve been teaching ever since—and what I’m sharing in my new book, Think It.

#8. Hustle Believe Recieve -Yours truly!

Not to be a duche here, but honestly—writing this book changed my life! It was only the third self-help book I’d ever read cover to cover (the first being #6 on this list and the second being #1), so I learned a lot in the process—through writing it, running the beta coaching program alongside it, and conducting all the interviews. This is the exact method I still teach my clients today and the same program I train life coaches to teach in my Centrella University life coach training program. If you haven’t read it yet, now’s the perfect time!

#9. The Power of Positive Thinking -Norman Vincent Peale

The classic book on mindset and how you can change your life by changing your thoughts.

#10. You Are the Placebo Dr. Joe Dispenza

I recently listened to this book and found it to be a powerful tool for understanding the science behind how your thoughts create your reality, shape your world, and manifest outcomes. I first discovered Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work on The Ed Mylett Show a few years ago, and it blew my mind to see concrete science backing up what I’ve been teaching in Think It for the past 15 years. He approaches mindset through science, so if you’re skeptical about how changing your thoughts can transform your life, his work lays out the science behind what I’ve been teaching for years. This book focuses specifically on the power of the mind to heal the body and the body/mind connection.

Did I forget any of your favorites? Have a recommendation for me? Drop it in the comments.

Here are 3 painless and FREE ways you can support my writing. Thank you so much!

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Memoir. | Thoughts. | Stories. | Life. | Free

About the Author: Sarah Centrella is a keynote speaker, executive mindset coach, and multi–bestselling author of four books, including Think It. | Book her to speak. Listen to her podcast | Follow on Insta Sarah Centrella

Book a private coaching session with me to get help, my proprietary tools and advice based on 15 years of coaching thousands of people around the world, on anything you are working through right now.